The House of Little Fears

Well, it’s only been forever since I last updated. I left a lot of things hanging back in March (almost five months ago—eesh) including a promised Little Fears novel and a long list of RPG supplements “in development.” In addition, I’ve slacked hard on fulfilling orders in a timely fashion and following up on rules email and such.

That’s not good. And I know that.

So I’m looking to correct this moving forward.

This year has been insanely busy at the day job. Pair that with working in exercise and family time and I’ve spent nearly every hour I’ve been give since the calendar turned. Unfortunately, fitting in any extracurricular stuff, such as Little Fears and Streets of Bedlam, has been tough.

As the time has passed, my stress levels spiked off the charts and I hit a wall. I was anxious, depressed, and unfulfilled as well as agitated and uncertain about what I wanted out of life. The past month and a half have been particularly hard.

Thankfully, my wife is there for me when I am not and she booked a family vacation for a weekend out in the woods. So it was I spent last weekend holed up in a cabin surrounded by miles and miles of not-much which, aside from having to drive twenty minutes for groceries, was pretty spectacular. Normally I would fill my time with work, either day job or my own writing, or spend all my energy dealing with large crowds of people which is hugely exhausting for folks like me. And I’d come back from the “vacation” even worse off than I started.

But not this time.

This time, I did nothing but let myself be surrounded by trees, friendly roaming creatures, a bull-headed cat, a super-friendly chocolate lab, and walks in the woods.

It was amazing. And relaxing. And clarifying.

I don’t want to undersell that last point. “Clarifying.” My head has been so filled with static—work work work obligations obligations obligations—that I just ran head first from one task to another until I dropped. Like I said above: Every hour was filled. And, while I love my job and family, none of it was focused on my personal writing, which is one of the few things that keeps my anxiety demons at bay.

I thought maybe I could handle this. That maybe I could find time to fulfill my obligations to Little Fears and Streets of Bedlam in my spare time but make other things my top priority focus. But I couldn’t. I didn’t have “spare time.” No, I needed to make the time. I need to carve hours out of my day and dedicate them to my, shall we say, “ambition writing.” I needed to make my own writing a higher priority than it was. Yes, my day job is awesome and pays the bills, but my ultimate happiness relies on me putting out words that were wholly my own. That were my characters in my worlds doing my things. That were available to fans of my works, works that I love to support and grow. That had the potential to be books with my name on them put out by publishers who were not me.

And here it is, the Monday after and I still feel that way. I need to always feel that way. I need to make my own writing part of my daily routine. I need to fulfill my obligations.

Which is why I’m writing this to you today. Because I’m on a path to make things right.

Step One: More Timely Shipments
The money you pay for your hardcopies pays for the time it takes me to sign, package, and ship the products. I need to turn this around faster. I have let months go from initial order to final delivery and that’s not acceptable.

Step Two: Better Communications
I have some emails in the queue that need answered. I have fans on social media that deserve better support.

Step Three: More Product
Right now, the most outstanding product in the Little Fears line is The Wolf Pact. I have an outline, a fair amount of words, but it needs done. Which brings me to:

My Schedule

Starting tonight, I’m getting back into my own writing. I will have two nights each week to dedicate to writing and time outside of that, here and there, to do it as I can. But those two nights are nothing to sneeze at. There’s no good reason I can’t crank out 3-4k words each week. That’ll help me start to dig out from the hole I’m in and that’s good. It also gives me clearer goals as to when I can get stuff out.

First on my plate is something that’s not for Little Fears. I am about 2-3k words away from finishing SoB Stories #2 for Streets of Bedlam. That’s first. I will get that done this week and out next Wednesday. Then, I want to get back into Little Fears by finishing up Campfire Tales #8: The House That Wasn’t There. According to the latest file, I’m at the 33% mark there, which puts me about 5k words until done. I already have the art, so quick math check, I will have that finished next week.

I normally put in words like “should” or “aim to” but not this time. That gives me too much room to fudge. Instead, I’m dedicating to it. And not fulfilling that promise means I failed.

After that, I will decide whether I’m going to put out SoB Stories #3 for Streets of Bedlam or focus on The Wolf Pact. In fairness, SoB Stories #3 was promised first—and thus is later—but I would like to do some fiction. I’ll make that call soon enough.

Anyway, that’s where things are at. I am truly sorry for dropping the ball as much and as hard as I have lately. I am going to work to correct this and do better in the future.

(You’ll notice a similar post over at StreetsOfBedlam.com. Figured it was better to write this once and change some details than spend time restating everything.)